


Waking Up With A Migraine Always Is A Bad Omen

by Pendule



Category: Gintama
Genre: Anger, Bad Days, Comfort, Dadtoki, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gintoki needs a hug, Gintoki-Centric, Hijikata is pining, M/M, Soft Ending, Supporting Family, he's having a bad day, they're in love tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pendule/pseuds/Pendule
Summary: First it starts with a migraine, then an empty fridge.As his day goes further and troubles piles up, Gintoki's day worsen and nothing seems to be able to soothe him. Maybe Hijikata can at least try to make it a little bit better?
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	Waking Up With A Migraine Always Is A Bad Omen

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> First of all, I'm a non-native English speaker, so I'm sorry if there's any mistake.
> 
> So I was having a really bad migraine one day and it inspired me to write about Gintoki having one, and it somehow escalated into him having a bad day.. poor man didn't ask for anything tho. 
> 
> Also the atmosphere of the fic was inspired by this song I listened to while writing, [Nick Cave's song "Magneto"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1XKc8lROTs.com) so you can listen to it if you want!
> 
> See you at the end!

He knew the minute he surfaced from sleep that this day wasn’t going to be a good one. The first thing he heard before even opening his eyes was an awful screeching song coming from the TV in the back of the living room. He opened his eyes, and immediately closed them back, blinded by the light filtering through the half closed curtains of the lone window in the room.

Gintoki groaned, burying his head back into his pillow. He wanted to stay in the comfort of his futon, comfortably tucked under his quilt. But the noise coming from the next room was too loud to ignore so he decided to get out of bed. He let some time for his eyes to get used to the sunbeams, waiting for the drowsiness to sweep away as he blinked the sleep off his eyes. He got up, deciding that he could stay in pyjamas a little longer today. He scrubbed his lower back as he slid the sliding door open, the TV sound becoming suddenly louder to his ears. Making a face, he walked to the corner where he noticed Kagura splayed on the ground, in pyjamas as well, eating sukonbu while resting her head onto Sadaharu’s furry stomach. He usually found the sight endearing but today all he could feel was irritation as his head started to feel pounding into his forehead.

He walked past the TV, missing Kagura’s surprised glance and frowning face. Eyes still partially closed, he opened the fridge, managing to say between two yawns, ‘Can you turn the volume down, there’s no need to be that loud this early in the morning?’.

Kagura immediately answered, ‘Well it’s your fault if you’ve woken up that early, if you’re not happy get back to your room, there’s no way I’m lowering the teleshopping volume!’ Her voice was too loud and Gintoki wanted to retort that teleshopping was supposed to be for old hags like their landlady and not for a 14 year old girl like her, but he was stopped in his thoughts when he noticed that what he had been looking for, his precious cartons of strawberry milk, were not in the fridge. And he always kept it in the fridge since this delicious drink was only to be drunk when freshly out of the fridge. Shit. He groaned as he closed the door, already feeling the shitty day looming over him.

Today was a Monday, and since he was already in a bad mood and didn’t want to stay inside, he just decided to head out in a quest of his weekly pleasure, the Shonen Jump. Of course this would soothe him and help him to start the day on a new base. So he got down the outside stairs, didn’t bother to grab a coat because the weather seemed sunny, only bothering with his helmet, and got on his scooter. The traffic was, like every other day, packed and slow. It was obviously easier for him to drive since he could slip in between the cars and buses on his side of the road, but still. As Mondays were always the busiest day of the road when it came to traffic, being stuck and unable to pass the vehicles was no surprise to him. He usually was okay with it, thinking about the Shonen Jump he would soon have in his hands, and wondering if Luffy would beat his current enemy with a new technique or with a good old Gear Third. As usual as it was, it pissed him off now to have to wait, the smoke coming from the exhaust pipes of the cars in front of him filling his nostrils and lungs unpleasantly, making his head spin from each passing seconds a little more.

After what felt like an eternity, Gintoki finally parked on the pavement in front of the konbini store. Setting foot on the ground, he slipped his helmet off his head and hung it on the handlebar. The familiar ding of the opening of the sliding doors pulled him out of his angry state and he almost strolled to the aisle where the magazines were. He had to admit that the Jump did wonders when it came to lightening his mood. Though, when he reached the stand, he soon became disillusioned as he was unable to spot any of the awaited magazine onto the shelf. Gritting his teeth, he turned back to go to the checkout to ask the cashier directly about it. He didn’t feel like rummaging through the shelf right now. Unsurprisingly, the shop assistant apologised as he explained that they’d already sold all their stock of Jumps for the day. Gintoki left without a word, ignoring the seller’s offer about the new Shonen Magazine.

He grabbed his helmet and climbed back on his scooter, starting up and already driving towards the closest Konbini store. All the stores couldn’t be sold out of Jumps that early in the morning, right? He shouldn’t have thought that, though, because it quickly turned out that, yes, it could happen. He’d learned through a seller that today was the last chapter of one of the published series, which explained why today’s issue had been sold out like hotcakes. Seeing how the day had started, he had expected to have to fight with Zenzou to get the Jump, but it seemed that the entirety of Edo had spared him the trouble by buying the entire stock today. Sighing, he resigned himself to return home empty-handed. The way back was as slow and almost as uneventful as when he left, but the rain came disturbing the ride, and soon enough Gintoki was left drenched and shivering in the middle of the traffic.

When he reached Kabukichou fifteen minutes later, he slowed down as he caught sight of the Yorozuya Gin-san’s frontage, hesitating. Going to the store had taken him more time than he’d thought and he was sure that Patsuan would be home by now, cleaning the agency down even though he’d done the exact same thing the day before. Did he feel like listening to the kid rambling about how he was underpaid and how Gintoki should sort his life out before being old and decaying? He didn’t want to. Maybe he could make a detour and go to the pachinko instead? But it had been a while since they’d gotten any new job and the money was starting to run low, like _really_ low. He might be an asshole, but there was a limit to bullshit even he knew not to cross when the situation was critical. After debating with himself for what was probably too long for a man sitting on a scooter in the middle of the road, he finally parked in front of his apartment, but didn’t get in. Instead he decided to go get some errands done at the minimarket just around the corner.

He walked the distance by foot, scratching the side of his head with his free hand, the other hanging into his kimono’s sleeve. When he walked into the store, the owner immediately called him out, telling him that this time he’d had to pay for his purchases or else he’ll call the cops on him. Gintoki wanted to retort that he could still try, but he wasn’t in the mood to play. In fact, the owner’s remark only worsened his mood, and he had to force himself from not leaving the store from sheer humiliation. Thankfully there weren’t any other patrons in when the owner had said it and so Gintoki simply walked in, ignoring the man. He walked past the magazine aisle, throwing a glance and already knowing that his dear Jump would not be here. The shop had stopped selling it since no one except him bought it. Almost mechanically, he grabbed three packets of sukonbu, a bag of rice, and a packet of strawberry flavoured lollipops. He checked that he had enough to pay it all before walking to the checkout, not wanting another humiliating word from the owner.

The man eyed his money suspiciously as if Gintoki’d given him a counterfeit one, but took it nonetheless. As he left the store, the silver-haired samurai swore that he wouldn’t come back here anymore, it was unacceptable for a good man like him to be treated that way. Deep down he knew that he’d be back in a few days in the store as if nothing had happened, just like always.

Gintoki walked out, going back home even more pissed off than he’d been when he’d left. As he was only a few meters away from the stairways leading to his place, Gintoki spotted a familiar uniform coming in his direction. He looked at him briefly, avoiding eye contact as he realised that this was indeed Hijikata. Usually he’d stop to chat with the man, annoying him until he would threaten him to throw him in custody for the day, only then would Gintoki stop and leave. Sometimes he’d let him know that he planned on going to a bar the night and that his kids weren’t here, a tacit invitation for an implied agreement that had been going on between them for a few months now. They had met at a bar one night and had somehow ended up at Gintoki’s place, passing the night together. Since then they would meet at a bar from time to time, always ending up at the Yorozuya’s at the end of the night, Gintoki always assuring that Kagura would be at the Shimura’s Dojo. None of them knew what this agreement meant, but it was great. Gintoki pretended that it was just a way to blow off some steam when there weren’t many fights around, and Hijikata just went along with it. And it would probably stay this way until one of their friends discovered it, but for now they didn’t have to talk about it and it was better that way. Gintoki was surprised that Sougo still hadn’t discovered their little play, the little shit making it a habit of ruining Hijikata’s plan ever since he’d met him.

However, it had been three weeks since it’d last been just the two of them, and the silver-haired man wasn’t in the mood to see him anytime soon. So instead of stopping to talk to him, or even throw him a smile, he simply continued on his way, climbing his stairs as if the Vice-Commander wasn’t just right here in the middle of the street, wondering what he’d done to deserve such a cold treatment.

Actually, Hijikata had been away for those three weeks and had awaited the time when he could see Gintoki again, hence why he’d taken the patrol into this street that day even though it wasn’t his supposed route. Gintoki pointedly ignoring and avoiding him definitely hadn’t been something he had expected. Though he felt that this probably had nothing to do with him. Hijikata had warned Gintoki about his departure and the man hadn’t seemed to be bothered by it. If he wasn’t just imagining it, Gintoki was in one of those moods where he just seemed always about to explode, awaiting just a little push to break a fuse and disappear for three days straight. Whatever it was, Hijikata decided that he’d go look for him when his shift would be over that night.

Unaware of the raven-haired man’s thoughts in front of his house, Gintoki pushed the sliding door open, not even bothering to warn that he was home as he took his shoes off. He grit his teeth as Sadaharu barked a loud ‘wan’ only centimetres away from his face. Without answering, the samurai simply put a hand on his dog’s head, petting him as he entered the living room with Sadaharu on his heels. The warmth of the pet on his side was a good feeling when compared to the coldness of his wet clothes and Gintoki suddenly wanted to lay on the floor with his head resting onto the furry belly. But whatever he was about to do was stopped by Shinpachi coming from the kitchen and calling for him. The kid didn’t look happy and Gintoki already regrettedhis choice of coming back home. Greeting him lazily, Gintoki walked past him, noting that Kagura wasn’t on the ground anymore. She probably was in the bathroom. He entered the kitchen, eyed warily by Shinpachi who was holding a broom. Gintoki emptied the content of his bag onto the kitchen counter and tore the lollipop packet open, opening one and putting in his mouth directly.

He barely held his groan as Shinpachi started to talk, ‘You should not eat sweets in the morning Gin-san’. Then he paused, glancing at the measly packet of rice and sukonbu onto the counter. ‘Was it really necessary to buy lollipops when all we have in the fridge right now are eggs and strawberry milk?’, Shinpachi added with a rhetoric tone. Gintoki wanted to retort that a simple packet of candies wouldn’t change a thing to their already non-existent treasury, but he knew that it would lead to him skating on thin ice. The kid was probably right and Gintoki didn’t want to admit it, plus the pounding in his head was just taking up again and he didn’t want to hear the boy scream.

He left the kitchen without a word, taking refuge into his room where he prepared his clothes. He’d left the apartment in pyjamas after all. He quickly undressed himself from his soaked clothes, and he let himself fall on his undone futon with a loud thud, closing his eyes immediately. He buried his face into his pillow, the sound of the water running into the bathroom lulling him. The regular rhythm soothed his headache for a moment and he briefly thought that he probably should tell Kagura to go easy on the shower water because the bill could easily turn ugly with her, but he was too lazy to do anything right now. He’ll tell her another day.

He stayed in bed for the next 10 minutes, enjoying the warmth of the duvet under him and the silence of the house. Thankfully, Kagura had stopped the water a few minutes after he’d entered his room. He heard the bathroom door slam as the girl stomped into the living room. Gintoki really hated having to live with an elephant into his apartment. There was silence for a split second before the door to his room slammed open and he grit his teeth at the loud noise. ‘Oï, I hope you didn’t come back to the house empty-ended, son’, Kagura said with her oh so sweet voice. Gintoki felt like a rookie being treated like a simple assistant by the boss of some mafia, except that he was a grown 20 year-old-something man, and the boss was a 14 year old girl. ‘If it’s sukonbu you’re looking for it’s on the kitchen table’, he mumbled into the pillow.

The girl enthusiastically threw herself onto the futon as she thanked him, trying to decide whether wrestle or hug him, Gintoki wasn’t sure. She pounced back on her feet towards the kitchen and Gintoki groaned, sleep having left him and the pounding in his forehead taking over him again. He straightened up, stood up, grabbing his discarded clothes from the ground and walking back into the living room. He was slower than his usual, his face pale under the light in the room. He shivered from the difference of warmth in the room as he walked past the kids, heading straight for the bathroom. He didn’t slam the door like he was used to and simply slid it slowly, each little noise less was still a little bit less pain gained from the headache.

Gintoki stripped quickly before finally slipping into the shower, warm water warming him up again. The walls were thin in the apartment, and even though it wasn’t loud, Gintoki could still hear the kids whispering into the living room. He wondered if they were planning something against him because once again there still was only rice and eggs for lunch, or if it was even worse, like them planning on doing something nice to him. He didn’t like this because somehow it always ended up being a total disaster and the good intentions the kids had tried to pull out turned sour faster than they’d expect it. Anyway, he finished his shower quickly, getting dressed easily and lazily drying his hair even though his natural perm would naturally get back proudly on his head.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, the whispers had stopped and the kids were not in the living room anymore. However, Gintoki didn’t have to wonder where they’d gone when he heard noises coming from the kitchen. He was about to join them when the phone on the desk rang, making Gintoki wince at how loud the ringing was. With a sigh, he walked towards it, picking the phone up and grumbling something that was supposed to sound like “Yorozuya Gin-san what can I do for you?” because it was probably a call from whatever company asking him to repay money he probably owned them again. Yet, the voice on the line belonged to what probably was a grandma, and instead of demanding money, she asked if they could take a job today. Looking for a distraction from the bad day he was going through, and in desperate need of money, Gintoki straightened up at the evocation of what could probably get him both by the end of the day. After assenting, the grandma said that she needed help to arrange her garden for an outside reception she was supposed to host soon. Good, it was something easy Gintoki could do with not much effort, and with a little chance the place wouldn’t be too big, too far, and the pay would be great. Saying that he could indeed take the job, the woman gave him her address and set up the meeting time around 2pm. Gintoki said that they’ll be here for 1.30pm, and they hung up.

He heard scuffles behind him as he put the telephone down, and he was met by Shinpachi, Sadaharu and Kagura’s curious faces when he turned to look behind him. ‘Let’s eat quickly, we’ve got a job to do this afternoon’, he simply said, already heading towards the kitchen.

The kids looked quite happy at the prospect of having something to do this afternoon, and Kagura exclaimed loudly ‘What’s the job?’. Shinpachi nudged her, silently remembering her to keep her voice down. Gintoki watched the scene from across the room but didn’t say anything. Even though the migraine stripped him of any other feeling except pain, he still felt warmth filling his heart at the attention the kids put in taking care of him. He’d be sure to work well this afternoon to get them something with the money. Though he probably would have given it to them in some convoluted way anyway, because there was no way he would do something nice and selfless openly. He had a reputation to uphold.

Anyway, he was about to step in the kitchen when he was held back by Shinpachi who hurried him away and to the couches. Gintoki sat without much complaints. ‘Don’t worry Gin-san, we’re already taking care of the food!’, Shinpachi said in a tone that for once didn’t seem to hold any venom. It was different from the contemptuous remarks he had gotten when he had come back home an hour ago. Sadaharu, instead of following Kagura into the kitchen, rushed to Gintoki’s side, laying between the couch and the table, resting his head on Gintoki’s naked feet. The man smiled gently, petting the dog’s head silently, as he closed his eyes, enjoying the calmness of the moment.

The two kids came back tiptoeing, not wanting to bother the two white-haired slouched forms on the couch, but Gintoki cracked an eye open anyway, not sleepy in the slightest. He was served tamago kake gohan and he couldn’t even find it in himself to complain. Hopefully they would get something more elaborate to eat tomorrow. They ate in relative silence, the TV being surprisingly turned off, and Gintoki suspected that he was the reason for it not being on. Kagura loved to watch the midday shows.

After eating, they got ready pretty quickly, grabbing what they thought they would need there, and got out. Gintoki didn’t feel like going out again, but the opportunity of getting a job was too rare to pass on so he kept his complaints to himself and hopped onto his scooter. Shinpachi climbed behind him, and Kagura climbed on Sadaharu as usual. The grandma’s house wasn’t actually that far but it’d been a while since they had all gone out together like that. It was great.

Finding the house wasn’t really hard, and the grandma was already outside waiting for them. The sun was high in the sky and blinding, making Gintoki flinch as he removed his goggles. It was different from the full cloudy sky he’d been under in the morning, and the silver-haired man hoped that it wouldn’t rain this afternoon. The old woman greeted them, and opened her front gate with a big smile on her face. However, Gintoki and the kids’ smiles dropped as they took in the full expanse of the site. The silver-haired man had expected a small garden, something like the Shimura’s dojo, but now that he was in front of it, it looked just as big as a baseball or even a football court. He hid his discontentment behind a fake smile and walked to the woman who was waiting for them next to her portal. She greeted them and listed all the things she wanted them to do. It was the usual gardening job, at least, but the quantity of work necessary was four times higher than usual. Still, the kids got to work without batting an eyelid, and Gintoki followed suit, reluctantly.

Three hours later, Gintoki blamed himself for not having brought a hat with him. The sun was now at its zenith, and, on top of beating down, the light was blinding him, making the situation even worse. Sweat was running down his skin and he could feel his t-shirt gluing to his body. The job wasn’t that hard even though they had a lot, but it wasn’t as easy as he’d thought.

In another part of the garden, Kagura was tearing weeds off, her strength easily pulling the roots with the whole plant. She had gloves too big for her, and her umbrella, even if it protected her from the sun, probably hid a big part of the ground, but she was surprisingly good at it. Sadaharu was sleeping at her side. Not so far away, Shinpachi was mowing the lawn with a lawnmower that seemed to be as old as its owner, if not even more. But the boy seemed to do a good job with it as well, humming a tune that probably was Otsu’s new single, a straw hat protecting him from the sun. At least the kid wouldn’t get a sunstroke, something Gintoki wasn’t so sure about himself. He could see that he was doing a poor job at trimming the hedge. It wasn’t straight, the hedger was heavy in his hands, and his breath was laboured. He straightened up, dropping his tool on the ground, wiping the sweat on his forehead with his sleeve. There was no way they would be able to finish the cleaning today, Gintoki thought.

He walked up to Kagura, making the lazy dog laying on the ground next to her merely look up, and Gintoki wanted to insult him for being such a lazy dog, and how he didn’t contribute to the well-being of the family, but Sadaharu was just a dog and except eating two times his weight and carry Kagura around, he couldn’t do anything. _‘That’s what a dog is for, Gin-chan’_ , Kagura always answered when Gintoki voiced it out loud, but still. ‘Oï, I’m going to see the owner, I don’t think we’ll have the time to finish it all today, alright?’, he said, crouching next to the girl and petting Sadaharu even after the internal monologue he just had about him.

Kagura looked up, squinting her eyes at him ‘Good idea Gin-chan, and if we get two days we can stop for this afternoon, yes?’. Gintoki smiled slightly, ruffling her hair too as he got back up.

‘Yeah sure, I’m sure it’ll be okay, you already worked well today’, Gintoki said gently. He didn’t usually say things nice like this even though he always thought it, but today he wasn’t really into showing off, all he wanted was for the day to be over soon, and if he could do it without angering any of the kids, then it would be good.

He approached the sliding door, knocking loudly on it as he assumed that the old woman probably had trouble hearing. She came to open the door a few seconds later, not commenting on the volume at which he’d knocked on the door. She hurried him inside, leading him to a couch in the living room in front of a small table. He sat while she sat in front of him, sliding a plate full of biscuits in front of him. He wasn’t really hungry, and for what probably was the first time in his life, he refused a treat. All he wanted was to go back home, take a shower and sleep for 10 hours straight. ‘Say, ma’am, I think we won’t be able to finish the entirety of the garden today, would it bother you if we finished it only tomorrow?’, he asked, looking at the woman.

She didn’t seem surprised by his words, nodding slowly, ‘No of course not, it does not bother me, if you feel better doing it that way then it is fine for me as well’, she simply answered. Gintoki narrowed his eyes, he didn’t really know why, but he felt that something was off with the woman. She didn’t come to see the work they’d been doing in _her_ garden for 3 hours straight, and even though she had asked them to be quick, she wasn’t bothered by the one day more of delay.

‘Excuse me to ask this in such a straightforward way but, how are you planning to pay us? I know we haven’t finished the job, but I would be glad to have some sort of advance for the job already done’, he said, with the sweet voice he only used with clients.

In front of him, the woman smiled pettily, ‘Well the thing is, I never talked about paying you for the job you have done. I asked you to do something and you did it without even asking whether I had money or not. I like what you did, but I won’t pay you.I am quite low on money right now anyway, so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t really pay you’. The woman said as if it was the most normal thing to say ever.

Gintoki’s smile dropped as he heard it. He had misheard, right? ‘What? What are you saying?’.

‘I said that since I didn’t have any money right now, I wouldn’t pay you. But I am grateful for the efforts you put into cleaning my garden, it is a pretty good job that’s for sure’, the old woman answered, a smug smile plastered on her face.

Gintoki wanted to scream. Or slam his face onto the coffee table in front of him to knock himself out for eternity. Or both. He got up, walking quickly to the front door. _Fuck_. He usually always discussed about the pay before starting a job, because things like this had happened a lot when he had started the Agency, but he’d let his guard down and had let it happen again, even though they really needed money now. But he knew that there was nothing he could do, he’d seen the inside of the woman’s house, it wasn’t the interior of someone wealthy. All he could do would be getting angry at an old woman and breaking things that had probably been out of order for a long time already. As he stepped outside and was about to slam the door shut, he heard the woman say ‘I guess I won’t be seeing you tomorrow, then’ and he literally broke the handle he’d been holding. _Stay calm_ , he thought to himself, beating an old woman probably wouldn’t bring any money to his house, anyway.

Alarmed by the sound of the front door being shut violently and Gintoki’s swearing, Shinpachi, Kagura and Sadaharu rushed to him, enquiring what could be the reason for the man’s sudden outburst. Gintoki didn’t answer, simply gathering the things they had brought, urging the kids to follow him as he furiously stomped his way to his scooter. Once there, he threw the keys to their apartment to the kids before putting his helmet on. ‘The old hag is not going to pay us, don’t bother working anymore. Get back at the apartment, Otose’s probably planning to make katsudon for tonight, just ask her to make some for you, that’s the only consolation you’ll have tonight’. He retrieved his scooter’s keys, turning the ignition as he adjusted his goggles.

‘But what about you, Gin-chan, what are you going to eat?’, Kagura asked, her tone growing worried.

‘Gin-san ain’t in the mood for food right now, I’ll be back later, don’t worry about me’, Gintoki answered briefly, and with that, he was off.

It was a fucking shitty day if he ever knew one. He’d had had enough, he should have just stayed in bed. He drove without knowing really where to go, the only goal in his mind being finding the strongest and yet cheapest bottle of sake in the whole Edo. Maybe this could be strong enough to knock himself out for at least three days. He needed it.

* * *

Gintoki wasn’t sure how many bars he’d walked into, but he was sure that it was not enough. It was close to midnight and he was still not drunk. Usually midnight would be the time when he would go out, but considering how long he had been out this evening, it was surprising to see him still that limpid. But it wasn’t really his fault, to be honest, he wanted to get drunk, but the barmen he’d met had all thrown him outside of their bar the moment they had understood that he didn’t have any money to pay. He had had to walk back to Kabukichou to finally be able to get in a bar where the barman knew him and accepted to give him credit on his drinks. He even had been forced to leave his scooter behind, because even though he trusted himself enough to drive with it with a relatively low level of alcohol in his blood, he knew that after such a day, there was no way he wouldn’t be the lucky one, getting pulled over by the cops. He wasn’t going to end this already shitty enough day in custody.

Though it seemed that Gintoki still had encountered the cops, in the person of Hijikata Toshirou, currently sitting on two barstools away from him, a glass of sake between his hands, and a cigarette in the other. To be fair, it had been his own mistake to not look more closely into the bar before entering, because if he had seen the Vice-Commander from the beginning, Gintoki would have never sat down, especially not that close anyway. But now it was too late, and with a glass in his hand himself, there wasn’t much he could do except drink in silence and hope that the Vice-Commander would leave soon enough. Though even though he hoped for it, he was sure it wouldn’t happen. Not with the way the raven-haired man had been looking at him for the past hour, his gaze burning Gintoki’s neck as the silver-haired man had this annoying feeling of being watched over. He was here to drink, not being surveyed, dammit. The worst part of it all probably was that Hijikata didn’t even have a word with him. He just looked at Gintoki as if his thoughts would miraculously be directly transmitted into Gintoki’s mind. But all that was in Gintoki’s mind right now was his own dark thoughts, frequently interrupted by the constant pounding in his forehead. If it was fucking that Hijikata wanted, Gintoki would not be the one to give him what he wanted tonight.

He got up, drinking down his glass in one go and dropping all the change that was left in his pocket, which wasn’t much, and grumbled something to the barman who just shook his head as he watched Gintoki walk away. Gintoki opened the sliding door and stepped outside. He felt the difference of temperature between the warmth of the bar and the coldness of outside, but the alcohol in his body had warmed him enough to not shiver, and his head was burning anyway, the cold being the least of his worries. He walked away, in the direction of the house. With a little chance, Kagura had stayed at the Dojo and he could just let himself fall onto the flooring the moment he’d step into the apartment. Or maybe he would have enough motivation to drag his own ass to his room and he could fall asleep onto his futon.

As he was already imagining the comfort of his sheets, Gintoki took notice of steps resonating behind him in the not so busy street. It wasn’t hard to understand that Hijikata had followed him outside. Gintoki was tired, but there was a feeling coiling in his guts, something that made him realise that if the man came too close, Gintoki wouldn’t be able to hold back. He was tired because he had barely slept last night. He’d had one of the worst days in literal months, nay, years even, and on top of that he was drunk but not enough to enjoy the exhilaration and abandon he sought into the booze. So whatever the man wanted to say to him, Gintoki didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to hear him. Because with the look the man had been giving him for the past hour, Gintoki was sure that he was about to get a never-ending lecture about whatever the fuck Ogushi-kun had decided to rant about, and Gintoki was not in the mood right now.

He was getting himself angry, Gintoki knew that, but strangely, anger felt good right now. Sadness made him feel miserable, it swept through his bones and made him unable to move, only leaving him spent on the ground with no tears left to cry and the feeling that he’d rather die than keep suffering. But anger was different. Anger was the fuel that kept him upright, the thing that made his hand keep its hold onto his sword no matter what happened, even if all of his 27 bones in his hand were broken. Anger gave him power and the feeling that whatever was in front of him, it was nothing when compared to the raging fire that burnt in his guts. That fire that soared and threatened to reduce his soul and mind to ashes. In fact, anger took over his mind so much that it felt like he didn’t have to do a single thing when it took control. He was a vessel to both anger and sadness, but he’d rather sell his soul to anger than fall into the pit of despair that sadness brought.

He shook his head as he kept reeling away from the bar. His right hand holding his head as if it was about to fall. His mind was racing and he hated it. These stupid thoughts that felt like anything but him. Maybe they were the true him when the nice one couldn’t keep the other one in place. He was too tired to think about this kind of bullshit, _dammit_ , he thought, stumbling on a rock poking out of the ground. And he was still angry. Oh so angry, and he didn’t even know why. He was probably pissed off at himself, getting wasted again on a weekday. Though a weekday was nothing different from a weekend day to him, as his weeks were only punctuated by his jobs and nightly trips.

He held himself a little better, forcing his right hand to let his head go to get his back straighter as he started to go down some stairs. Unsurprisingly his head didn’t fall down but he was still surprised to realise that it wasn’t as heavy as he’d expected it to be. He’d taken the stairs that led to the Ara-Kawa riverbanks, he knew the streets were busy at this hour of the night and he’d rather walk home without having to fight any drunkard on his way back.

He might be drunk, but he hadn’t drank so much that he’d lost his senses. He couldn’t even have reached repletion since he’d been watched over by piercing blue eyes. He probably could have ran away and lost him in some ridiculously small alley but he didn’t even feel like running. He furrowed his brows as he walked closer to the river. The water was dark and the moon was reflecting over the surface, blurred by the ripples and its brightness seeming lower than usual. His face scrunched up as he squinted, getting closer. He heard pebbles hitting the surface of the river before he felt the ground under him give out, or well, the lack of ground thereof. He cursed as he braced himself to fall head first into the river. Great, it was a shitty day anyway, why not end it on high note, after all! But he didn’t even have the time to really fall because he heard hasty footsteps behind him and already a hand was gripping his left arm tightly and pulling him back from the edge.

Slightly shocked by his near fall and his head spinning from the violent movement, he barely heard the ‘Fucking hell, Yorozuya’ Hijikata said as he took him as far from the river as he could. Gintoki had trouble seeing around him as they were now almost under a bridge, the already faint light coming from the streets above and the moonlights getting hidden by the bridge, but he already knew that Hijikata had been the one saving him. _Saving him?_ The thought and the anger it created was enough to clear his mind enough to let him register that the man was still holding him by the arm.

With a hiss, Gintoki pushed the raven-haired man away, drawing in enough force to make the man stumble and fall onto his ass. ‘What the fuck’, Hijikata confusedly said, hands on the dirty ground propping himself up.

‘Get the fuck away from me’, Gintoki spat, anger evident in his voice.

The man on the ground looked up, taken aback by the spiteful tone the silver-haired man had used. It was rare to see the man angered, since he was most of the time either tired or mischievous. Sometimes sadness lingered in his eyes on bad days, and after particularly tough fights pain painted his features. But anger was something mostly saved for enemies. Of course they often bickered together over stupid subjects, but it couldn’t be considered as anger since it was mostly harmless and playful.

Probably for the first time since he’d known him, Hijikata witnessed Gintoki being angry. And it was directed at him, nonetheless.

Gintoki started to walk towards him, pointing an accusatory finger towards him. ‘Don’t fucking touch me, don’t you think I didn’t caught you staring at me as if I was a kid or something’, Gintoki started loudly. Hijikata was frowning, confused. ‘Stay out of my business and I stay out of yours, remember?’ Gintoki was rambling, spitting nonsense, Hijikata could see that. The anger he’d thought had been directed towards him probably hadn’t been his fault to begin with.

Still, Gintoki seemed to be ready to fight it out, and the Vice-Commander really hadn’t expected his first nightly meeting with the Yorozuya in weeks to go that way. Swiftly, Hijikata made Gintoki trip, not liking how close the man’s fists were from his head. This didn’t seem to deter the silver-haired man in the slightest as he grabbed Hijikata by the collar of his shirt, screaming again.

They exchanged a few blows, though Gintoki’s lacked of his usual strength, and Hijikata was obviously holding back his, not even wanting to participate into this stupid fight in the beginning. The more the Yorozuya raised his hand, the less spirit he put into the punch. Soon enough, the man stopped fighting, sitting on the dusty ground, glaring at Hijikata in front of him. The latter, who couldn’t find it in himself to get angry at the man, stood up, brushing the dust away from his clothes, as he fished his cigarette packet out of his jacket with a sigh. He lighted a cigarette quickly before pushing his head behind, craning his neck to see the moon hidden by the bridge as he took a drag.

Gintoki felt his decreasing anger boost up again at the sight of Hijikata’s Adam apple so adamantly exposed and the sight of his pretty eyes reflecting the moonlight shinning on him. He got to his feet before pushing Hijikata against the stone wall behind him. The Vice-Commander was startled by the sudden hands gripping his collar for the second time this night and dropped his cigarette on the ground. Gintoki’s gaze moving back and forth between Hijikata’s open lips and blue eyes. Frowning slightly, the Vice-Commander waited for something, anything, but nothing came, Gintoki just seemed captivated by his face.

Slowly, Hijikata drew his face closer to the silver-haired man. As he was still doing nothing to step back, Hijikata pressed his lips against Gintoki’s. This seemed to bring the man back to his senses as Gintoki kissed back spiritedly, prying the Vice-Commander’s lips open with his tongue. The kiss became quickly heated and Hijikata was forced to push his head back against the stone wall as Gintoki started to kiss his jaw, and then his neck. He couldn’t stop the small surprised yelp that escaped him as Gintoki bit his shoulder.

Hijikata pushed the man away, meeting his heavy gaze as he looked up. Gintoki looked at him one last time before his hands finally let go of his shirt, his left hand grabbing Hijikata’s closest wrist instead. Gintoki simply whispered ‘come’ before he dragged the man away from the wall and towards the path.

The walk to the Yorozuya Agency had never seemed that quick to Hijikata, and as soon as Gintoki slid the door open, he was pushed against the nearest wall again. It was a messy kiss in the darkness, but Hijikata realised that he’d missed it. After having been gone for only three weeks, he’d missed kissing Gintoki. He didn’t even have the time to analyse his discovery as the light to the living room was switched on, and a sleepy Kagura got out of her bedroom -the cupboard, in fact-, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and asking a slurred ‘Gin-chan?’. As soon as he heard his name, Gintoki pushed Hijikata away from him, making him fall to the ground and blocking the view to Kagura.

He walked to her, leaning down as he frowned, ‘You’re not with Shinpachi and the Gorilla woman?’, he asked, surprised.

‘No I wanted to wait for you, but I fell asleep before you came back, sorry. What’s with all the noise?’. Gintoki smiled gently, genuinely, for what probably was the first time this day, and he gently ruffled the kid’s hair as he ushered her back into the living room again.

‘Don’t worry about that, Gin-chan found some trash outside and brought it back, it’s okay, i’ll throw it away, get back to sleep’ he said, as Kagura diligently climbed back onto her futon.

As soon as he slid her door shut, Gintoki walked back to the entrance where he lifted Hijikata up by the arm, pushing him towards his own room hastily. He switched the light of the living room off as he removed his shoes and followed the Vice-Commander in his own room. As he was about to shut his door, he caught sight of Sadaharu laying into the middle of the living room, it seemed that he had a weirdly judgmental look on his face for a dog, but Gintoki put it on the alcohol.

Turning back, he easily spotted Hijikata on his futon in the darkness of the room and walked towards him, stripping off his kimono and trousers. ‘So I’m just some trash you found in the streets, huh?’ Hijikata said playfully. Falling on his knees, Gintoki simply told him to shut up as his hands easily reached the man’s neck, and his lips indeed shut him up.

This time, as he went down to his jaw and neck, he didn’t bite Hijikata, simply licking the mark he’d done on the man’s skin. His finger found the buttons on the shirt of the raven-haired man, opening them one by one before he started to kiss his way down his chest. Gintoki was so focused on it, that he didn’t immediately realise that Hijikata was calling his name. He felt his hand against his neck as his face was pushed towards Hijikata’s again, and the man kissed him, making the silver-haired man furrow his brows.

Hijikata looked up, his eyes locking into Gintoki’s, ‘Not tonight’, he murmured, centimetres away from the other’s lips.

Gintoki frowned even more, confused, ‘What?’.

Hijikata felt that if he didn’t handle the situation dexterously, this could turn sour pretty quickly. His fingers started to trace circles into the back of Gintoki’s neck, resting his forehead against the other’s. ‘I don’t want to do anything when you’re not in your right mind’. The white-haired man wanted to protest, but the words died in his mouth as he felt Hijikata gently kissing the junction between his neck and shoulder. ‘And to be pretty honest, I really don’t want to do anything when your kid is just one room away from us’.

‘In her defense, she’s surprisingly aware of many adult things for her age, don’t underestimate her’, Gintoki started defensively, but his tone softened as he continued ‘… but yeah, I’m not sure I want to do anything when she’s here either. I want to be able to look at her when I wake up, it would be pretty inconvenient since she’s always under my feet’.

Hijikata snorted as he sat up, making room for Gintoki to lie on his own futon. ‘That’s a sage decision, though I’m pretty sure she’ll get nosy tomorrow morning’, he said.

Gintoki groaned, burying his head onto his pillow ‘Don’t even talk about it! My day was shitty enough, I don’t want to know about tomorrow’. Hijikata snorted as he took his jacket off, grabbing a cigarette from his packet and lighting it. The room was silent for a while, before the silver-haired man mumbled ‘I don’t remember allowing you to smoke in my room, Ogushi-kun’.

Hijikata simply replied ‘Shut up and sleep, Yorozuya’.

The Vice-Commander didn’t get any answer and he finished his cigarette in silence. As it was reaching the end, he stood up, opening the window ajar to air the room. He slipped off of his trousers as well as his shirt, and came sitting back next to an already sleeping Gintoki, resting his back against the wall. Gintoki looked relaxed and soothed, compared to how he’d been when Hijikata had seen him this morning during his patrol. As he made sure that the samurai was fast asleep, Hijikata gently brought his hand into the silvery strands. Slowly, he ran his hand through the sleeping man’s hair, enjoying the silky touch. He only allowed himself to do it when the man was sleeping, Gintoki would probably hit him if he knew.

He carried on his gentle touch until he fell asleep, completely unaware of the fact that he’d been the only one able to make Gintoki’s day a little better.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope that you liked it!
> 
> It's a long ass fic again and it makes me wonder whether I'll ever be able to write short Gintama fics one day ahah! Also, I'm not used to writing from Gintoki's POV so I hope that it wasn't too out of character! It was fun to think about the compilation of events he would have to go through!! 
> 
> A huge thanks to the wonderful Rai who beta read this fic, she really was of great help!
> 
> And a special thanks to my friend Gabin for having helped me find a title to the fic, I would still probably be struggling if he hadn't helped me!! :)
> 
> Please leave some kudos and comments, it always makes me so happy to read them!! :D


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